Falling forward

Psalm 145:14
The LORD upholds all who fall, And raises up all who are bowed down.

Sunday night (at Auckland Christian Assembly Church), Pastor Ross shared some awesome analogies about life which I feel compelled to share with you guys.

Falling forward

When Ross was a teenager he and his friend did a bit of work on farms. There was a particular time that they went to work for an old Yugoslavian guy (easily in his seventies) who looked like he was in his late eighties.

Before they started working, the Yugoslavian took Ross and his friend up a steep hill to show them the area. It wasn’t too long before Ross and his friend were huffing and puffing. Yet to their amazement, the old Yugoslavian continued on incessantly.

Eventually, the old man turned to them and said, ‘I’m gonna tell you the secret about walking up steep hills…’

The secret is this: When you walk up a steep hill/mountain, the best thing to do is to lean forward. If you lean forward enough, you’re gonna naturally need to put your foot out to prevent yourself from falling over. What’s interesting is that in doing so, actually makes walking up steep hills considerably easier.

There is another benefit to leaning forward; it’s this: If you trip/fall, you’re gonna go forward; and when you fall forward (going up a hill/mountain), I’m sure you’d agree, that there’s very little room for injury, whereas if you fall back your chances of injury are fairly certain aren’t they.

So as you climb the mountains in your life (whatever goals they may be) the more doubts you have, the more likely it is that you’re standing straight (afraid to make mistakes) and even the slightest trip can send you flying dangerously downhill. Be courageous; leaning forward is like having faith that when you take decisive action, the means to accomplish your goals will sway into place, and that if you trip-up/fall, you can simply pick yourself up from where you were and continue.

Following in His footsteps

Recently (at Christmas camp) our youth group got the opportunity to climb some steep sand-dunes. If you observe the picture (below) you’ll notice that they’re all climbing behind the guy in front. There’s a good reason for this: it’s easier to walk in somebody else’s footsteps than to make your own track.

Now if you’re wanting to be unique and set your own course then sure, it’s ok to set your own track; you’ll need to work harder though, but perhaps others will follow in yours. However if you’re going to the exact same destination that someone else is going (or has gone), why not follow in their footsteps.

So what are your goals in life? If you’re a Christian like I am, then following in Jesus’ footsteps makes logical sense. I want to arrive at the same destination, hence it makes sense to walk in His footsteps.

Perhaps you have a career goal; who do you know who’s already reached your desired destination? Or perhaps you know someone who’s currently leading others towards the same goal. Learn from these people, perhaps they might even be happy to mentor you….

As always I enjoy and look forward to hearing about your success.

8 Keys to attaining good success

Dear friends,

This may be my last blog about attaining the essential keys to success. If all goes according to plan, I will be studying ‘counselling’ next year and prefer to focus my entirety into that. Although I may continue to write blogs in relation to other subjects (particularly biblical).

Thank you for all who have read these blogs, and I hope that they have helped you in some way. If you feel the need to add blogs from your own research/experience in relation to the attainment of ‘good success’ then feel free to do so; please be aware however that although certain steps might work for you, they may not necessarily work for everyone else (I approach these blogs with the same understanding).

Because this may be my last blog, I have decided to list all the steps that I believe are certainly helpful (if not essential) to the attainment of good success. Although I will do my best to order them sequentially, it is my personal perception that many of these steps are intermingled with each other (and work best if applied persistently); also what order works for one person, may work differently for another person. I have already written about most of these steps in previous blogs, but you will notice some additional keys and subcategories.

On a side note, I would like to take this opportunity to share my personal definition of success. Why? Because many people have asked me; or stated that success cannot be defined; or said that success is variable. So here is my definition: ‘Success is simply this, getting what you want.’

Personally, this definition of success sounds quite selfish – and it can be – which is why I promote the attainment of good success: that is success that is attained through charitable (love for your neighbour/s) and ethical (what is right) means.

Here are some helpful keys to attaining good success:

VISION

1. What results are you striving for and why? Establish your personal ‘mission statement’.
2. Set SMART (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely) goals.

ALWAYS ACT WITH INTEGRITY

1. Adhere to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty, prudence.
2. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHING TO GIVE (expecting nothing in return)

1. Go the extra mile; do more than what is expected of you.
2. A bearer of gifts has many friends.

ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE

1. Graciously acknowledge all that is good (everyday) and dwell on these things.
2. Act on what is possible and tell yourself that you ‘CAN’

BECOME AN EXPERT

1. Diligently seek the knowledge, understanding and discernment of what truly matters.
2. Listen/read attentively and keep records of what’s important; always learning

PRACTICE

1. Faith without works is dead.
2. Failures are lessons; learn from them.

TAKE STEADY AND PERSISTENT ACTION

1. Do what you love
2. Just Do It

SEEK WISE COUNSEL

1. He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed.
2. Listen to counsel and instruction, that you may be wise in your latter days.

That’s it in summary. Of course you can go into greater depth to truly understand how you might apply each key to your lifestyle, career and relationships. Feel free to get in touch if you’d like me to explain any/all of these in greater detail.

Again, thank you to all who have made this blog possible (that includes our fans – all 11 of you, LOL). I hope you had a great Xmas with the people you love and may you have a Happy New Year.

I’m looking forward to getting to know you all better this coming 2010.

(Your friend Adam)

Zowie’s Road to Success

About Zowie Heywood: She recently graduated from Massey University majoring in Fashion Design and minoring in Textiles from which she gained a Bachelor of Design qualification (that she proudly passed with first class honours).

Shortly after graduating from university and gathering a further 2 years of industry experience (with another employer in the Fashion industry), Zowie Heywood decided it was time to start-up her own business.

‘Zowie Dee’ was born.

When did you first get the urge to start ‘Zowie Dee’?

Ever since I can remember; I always wanted to start a creative business and from the age of 10 I figured out that I wanted to get into fashion design. I started my first Fashion Design course at the age of 12.

How long were you in business before you earned a profit?

About 5 months, although the money is still minor that can be classed as profit, and realistically I won’t be making a profit until at least 5 years into the business as the money is needed to help the business grow and flourish into everything I want it to become.

From your experience, what stresses and pressures are involved in entrepreneurship?

• Trying to figure out ways around a variety of challenging obstacles, which seem to happen no matter how much planning you have done in advance.
• Book-keeping and the legalities of running a business – going to business courses (which are funded by the government) are an excellent way to gain these skills and I highly recommend them, no matter how confident you perceive yourself; because without this additional training, it’s easy to overlook the little things that could end up costing you (your business) a lot of money.
• Time management – it’s easy to get distracted, especially when working from home. It’s important to know yourself well enough so that you can identify what habits will work for (or against) you. I make it a habit to time myself at work; this way I know how much time I am spending on each task; this helps me stay focused on what is really important so that I continue to work at a profit.
• Starting out in business – it’s more difficult when you don’t have employees to delegate to; which means that long hours of your time is needed for additional tasks (such as administration). This can be quite frustrating when you want to be working on the main things you passionately started the business for in the first place. I pretty much do everything, and that’s not easy.
• Despite all the years of preparation I have put in, there are still many things I don’t know. But you just have to bite the bullet.
• You have to work long hours – and the more productive you are (less distractions) the better the financial outcome.
• It takes a long time to build the trust that’s needed to get good reputation in the fashion industry; which is why you’ve got to be in it for the long haul.
• With all the constant focus on what needs to be done, it’s easy to forget how much you’ve accomplished – so it’s good to reflect at times, look back and be thankful for what you’ve achieved.

How do you differentiate yourself from your competition?

• I go out of my way to make every client feel like an individual. I want all my clients to have a positive experience. I’ll go above and beyond what is usually expected to ensure that my clients are satisfied – even if that means having several consultations with a client.
• If a client wants me to design something new for them, I’ll do so at my own expense (only charging them for the outfit that they actually buy). I pride myself on quality.
• My designs are inspired by Wellington culture; there’s a real energy and vibrancy about this city and its arts that I like to translate into the garment designs I create.
• ‘Zowie Dee’ has a growing identity in giving back to the community; this is in parallel to my own personal values.
• I’ll train up, give work experience and share my knowledge with anyone who is passionate about Fashion design (and alterations).

Who has encouraged you and/or inspired you the most and what motivated you to attain the success you have achieved so far?

Most people I’ve met have encouraged me in some way. Especially since I came to New Zealand, most people I have met responded enthusiastically when I shared my passion for Fashion design. This encouragement really boosted my confidence, my desire to start a Fashion design and alteration business became more feasible (in my mind) and I got to believing I could actually do it.

There were even moments in my life (when I’d been doubtful, or feeling down) where teachers have told me how great it was to have the privilege of being my teacher, because they felt that I had the potential to become inspirationally successful as a fashion designer.

I’m motivated by the lifestyle of doing what I love and being self sufficient. Having my own business means I can use my own talents and abilities to help and inspire people.

Was there a major turning point in your life that attributed to your success? If so, what was it and how did it help bring about your success?

Before moving to New Zealand, I didn’t have a lot of confidence in myself; but in my 5^th form year I was asked to see the school Career advisor. I remember telling her not to waste her time with me, because my grades weren’t that good and I wasn’t an academic. Back in my hometown in England, very well educated students are generally the only ones who have the privilege of selecting a great career.

The career advisor gave me some advice and encouragement that changed my attitude, restored my confidence and gave me hope. She told me that it doesn’t matter where I’m from, what I’ve done, what I look like, or what the grades are I have acheived to date. I can do anything I truly desire and that if I follow my heart (pursuing what I love), I’ll be able to put all the effort in that is required and achieve it – because of my passion.

What inspired you to volunteer your business into the charity event?

I care about people and I want to help them. I love to give back to the community. I enjoy teaching also, and feel good about inspiring others to succeed. It seems only fair to me that I give back to the community, because they’re the reason I’ve got this far in the first place. I truly appreciate everything I get in life, because I’ve experienced what it’s like not to as have much, and to work very hard for what we do get.

What did you do specifically at the charity event?

I donated garments, product and services for the auctions – to raise money and awareness for maternal health in the Pacific islands.

What were you thinking before and during the event?

I was nervous, excited and very proud to be part of a good cause. I was also hopeful that the venue would perform to its full capacity. I’m very passionate about the causes that I support.

What advice would you give to other entrepreneurs, considering involvement in a charity event?

Let people know about what you’re interested in and get involved.

Is there anything else, in addition to the event (and your qualifications) that brought about that success?

I consider myself to be a stubborn person (but in a good way); when I’m passionate about something and I’ve made up my mind to pursue it, then I’ll just keep going until I achieve it. When people mention the possibility of failure, I just acknowledge it as a learning experience. You just keep on learning, trying and figuring out how to make it all work. In addition, I would definitely say that it’s all about attitude and knowing yourself.

From your experience, what would you say are the fundamental keys to success?

• Can-do attitude/believing in yourself/positivity
• Knowing yourself, what you’re strengths are and what you’re passionate about
• Motivation
• Determination and drive/being persistent despite setbacks
• Appreciating the value in what you’ve got and giving back with gratitude
• Networking with everyone you meet/enjoy talking to people
• Industry experience/knowledge/good mentors

If you’d like to know more about ‘Zowie Dee’, you can visit Zowie’s facebook page:

http://www.facebook.com/inbox/?ref=mb#/pages/Zowie-Dee/211150505276?ref=ts

The Freedom of FORGIVING

Throughout your life, you’ve most likely met some people who’ve rubbed you the wrong way. For some have endured much verbal abuse, others physical violence, and some psychological or even sexual abuse.

Now, you’re presented with a choice; this choice will always be available to you, until the time of your death. Either you can choose to hate and hold a grudge against those who have caused you pain (suffering), or you can choose to forgive.

Let’s have a look at the consequences of each choice.

Hate and grudges:

If you choose this option – holding onto a negative event that has already happened, and cannot be changed; you are taking away from your life ‘time’ that could have been used to pursue what you love.

As you continue to dwell on these events, your thinking will be polluted with increasing negativity which can infiltrate and pollute your values with insecurities, these insecurities will then become part of who you are and will be shown by your actions. In summary – you are in bondage to un-forgiveness.

Forgiving:

If you choose this option – forgiving others for the wrongs they have done to you (or that have affected you); you have allowed yourself to use that ‘time’ to do what is valuable. You are free from that negative thinking; you can experience more love, more joy and more peace. In summary – to forgive someone, you are freeing yourself. It is good for YOU if you forgive others.

Am I saying that we should let criminals run free? Thankfully this is not required. Consider that punishment is good for offenders because it can help them get better – this in turn is a loving service to others who otherwise could have been additional victims. Punishment can teach criminals to pursue a better path in the future. We ought to punish offenders because we want to help them become better people. Chastise with Love; leave judgement to nature – because what goes around comes around.

KNOW yourself

Once upon a time there was a young woman named Mavis. She was very ambitious and desired to be very rich, very famous, and very powerful.

Mavis had, had a hard life; she’d grown up in a violent neighbourhood where she had been ridiculed and beaten by her abusive Father and other gang members; as a result she had developed many personal insecurities and constantly sought approval from others. To compensate for her insecurities, Mavis worked very hard: ‘I’ll show them’ she thought, yet every day was a constant struggle for peace and joy, that she could not seem to attain (at least not often).

Despite Mavis’s earnest efforts to succeed, she always encountered high levels of stress. She wore different masks (invisible masks) with her family, friends, co-workers and when meeting strangers. No-one (except for a few of her closest family) really knew who Mavis really was. To many, she was an arrogant woman, with a sour face and a complainer. But to those who really knew her, she was a sweet young lady, an intelligent thinker and natural teacher.

One day, Mavis had an emotional breakdown. It was typical morning in the office where mountains of papers where waiting at her desk for filing; Mavis had only slept for 3 hours – because she had been anxious all night about the sales calls she would have to make that day. A job she had once appreciated, she now hated.

It was a colleague who ‘flipped-her-switch’.

“You look like (insert appropriate words here) today” remarked her colleague jokingly.

But Mavis was not amused; she replied with swear words that were so inappropriate I will not list them here.

“Excuse me” gasped her colleague defensively. “I was only joking”.

“No you weren’t!” Mavis muttered furiously “Everyone has been taking advantage of me, in one way or another and I’ve had enough!” Mavis jeered up suddenly, throwing her chair aimlessly backwards. She bashed violently at her wall divider (surprised at her own strength) it gave way unwillingly. Papers for filing flew everywhere.

‘Crack’, a once recognizable screen saver became a mosaic of black and white; her hand retreated from the screen quivering with adrenalin. Fractions of a second later, Mavis was on the other side of the office floor, snatching at work-calendars, post-its, papers, pens, staplers and folders; knocking them to the floor or slashing what she could in half. Two brave but frightened colleagues lunged towards her and tackled her to the ground. Everyone cheered, as they dragged her to the entrance. The floor manager was quick to accompany them.

As the adrenaline rush gave way, Mavis went into shock. They placed her on the ground and leaned her back against the wall. Three pairs of eyes gazed at her with self-controlled hostility; in the distance, she could see her curious colleagues watching curiously to see what further drama might unfold. At that moment, Mavis knew, that she everything she had worked so hard for in her job – the hope for a managerial promotion, a promising career path, pay-rises, the company car, and share allocation which she was almost entitled to – were now gone.

She looked up at her manager helpless and knowingly. “I’m sorry” Mavis sighed weakly.

“What the heck were you thinking!” exclaimed the manager and then sighed with disappointment. His offended posture began to relax; he felt sorry for Mavis. He knew how hard she had worked, he had truly valued her as an employee, but he also knew of her tendency to over-think and stress unnecessarily, he knew that she was not quite suited to the role – hence the reason he never promoted her. “I shouldn’t have hired you Mavis” he admitted boldly, “I took a chance, knowing that you were not suited for the role – but I hired you because you were so ridiculously persistent.”

Mavis smiled, trying to stop herself – she assumed that she’d received a compliment; and in a way it was.

Her manager paused uncomfortably for a moment and sighed “I have no other choice Mavis, I have to let you go.”

“I understand; should I go get my things then?” Mavis replied with tears forming.

“Could you please get her things” the manager instructed the two colleagues.

They returned shortly afterwards. As her manager stood by her silently on guard, her mind raced through all the options that she could consider. She would have to move out of her flat, say goodbye to her flatmates and move back home to her single mother, it was unlikely anyone else would take her in. Perhaps she could return to her old job, selling sandwich makers on commission (yet this option was not so appealing).

They brought her things to her, opened the doors and showed her out, it was over; time to start again.

At her mother’s house, Mavis collapsed. Almost all motivation had departed from her soul. In some ways she felt lifeless, as if every mask had fallen away, every care had become as vanity. Many things like promotions and money and power had lost their significance in her mind. What Mavis desired now was peace, freedom (joy) and love.

After a couple of weeks, Mavis began searching for meaning in her life. Her mother had let her rest. She began to question her values and ethics and discovered that they had been inconsistent with each other. In the past she had desired to be promoted no matter what it took, but was convicted that she should care for others first. She began questioning her motives and realised that she hated administrative work but enjoyed teaching.

As Mavis delved further into self-analysis, she discovered that she was suited for teaching science. She thought back to her most joyous moments, she remembered that she loved doing presentations, writing essays and studying genetics and biology at school, she was always very curious and desired to know more about these subjects.

Later that year, Mavis enrolled at her local university to study for a Bachelor of Science in Genetics and Biology. Mavis enjoyed her new career path; it felt natural to her and gave her a sense of peace. Eventually it became apparent to Mavis that many of her previously held values had been based on personal insecurities that were inconsistent with her true values (what she truly and naturally loved). As she continued to focus on her natural strengths and talents, focusing on what she loved and caring for others (aligning with her personally held ethics) she did very well and proceeded into her Masters then a Doctorate.

Because Mavis was so passionate about Genetics and Biology she inspired many. She became a teacher who attracted students aswell as well-known scientists from all over the world who desired to learn from her. She did become wealthy, she was even well-known and had a lot of influence in her field – yet she cared for people because ethically she felt compelled to do so.

The moral of the story is this: Take the time to find out who you ‘really’ are, what you truly love and what your natural talents are. When you feel  consistent LOVE, JOY and PEACE (simultaneously) in what you do, then you can be confident that you’ve found your niche.

Seek WISE counsel

According to (fictitious) legend, there were once two ambitious lads (Rocky and Rolley), who both desired to be Rock stars. Here is their story:

• Rocky was a networker, he loved people, and was always willing to help a friend in need.
• Rolley was a musical genius, but he preferred to keep to himself.

Now Rocky and Rolley, were good friends, both sharing a passion for Rock and Roll; one day they decided to take action and pursue their dreams.

Rocky offered to work with Rolley, but he refused ‘I can handle this myself’ remarked Rolley proudly.

‘Alright’ replied Rocky contently.

‘I reckon we should go out on our own and see who produces a record first!’ declared Rolley, smirking competitively.

So that’s just what they did.

Rolley; being the musical genius that he was, had no problems playing all the instruments necessary to make great rock music. He could play the drums, electric guitars, bass, anything – you name it.

But when it came to writing the lyrics, Rolley had much less talent; thus it took considerably longer. On top of that, Rolley had to find a place to record his music, he didn’t have enough money, nor did he have the knowledge/skills to modify a room sufficient for his recording requirements – hence the process to making a rock band became more and more difficult for Rolley, as necessities presented themselves.

Rocky on the other hand was not so great at playing music, but he was passionate, he loved being in a band and he loved singing.

The first thing Rocky did was research, followed by brief plans which he would update as better methods became apparent; he surfed the internet and read books from his local library, gathering enough information to understand what it took to form a great Rock band. Then he contacted people in his networks that had affiliations with (or who knew people in) Rock and Roll (in the music industry). He also searched the internet for websites that belonged to the authors (in the music industry) who had inspired him. Rocky asked for referrals, every chance he got. One recommended another, followed by another, until Rocky found the people he was searching for.

Within a week, he had gathered contact details for several successful Rock stars – all he needed to do now was call them.

A few weeks later and Rolley had raised enough money (from his job) to begin recording his music. He could have waited to save a little more for a better recording studio, but let’s face it, who wants to wait for what they really want, when you can have it now?

The studio was quite old and the service was pretty poor – what was perhaps a once loved studio, was now a run-down shack. But hey, that’s life right?

So Rolley hired a van and bought all his instruments to the studio (as was the studio policy).

As he began to record his instruments individually, Rolley began to realise that time was seemingly against him. That day, he only recorded half the instruments required for the album. It was clear to Rolley that he had 2 obvious options: save a whole lot more money, or ask some people for help.

Rocky had done well, 3 of the contacts he had called had agreed to meet with him over lunch. Immediately he began writing up a list of questions that he had not found answers to; particularly relevant to the actual person/s he would interview. He ensured he had sufficient cash to buy his guests lunch and also ensured that he dressed appropriately.

The interviews went well, generally they insisted on paying for their own meals, but accepted a cup of coffee. They appreciated Rocky’s initiative and he was complimented for his preparation (a notebook, a pen and a list of questions). Equally satisfying to them was that Rocky had done his research (no-one likes their time wasted). Rocky listened carefully to what his guests told him, he was open-minded and thanked them for their concerns and feedback.

Rolley had asked his friends for help. Many turned him down, they were just too busy, or had better things to do. Eventually he managed to find a few people who were moderately interested. There was Bob who could play guitar, Tom who enjoyed playing the piano – although he wasn’t very good, and there was also Sally who liked Rolley – so she agreed to help him. Rolley scheduled a get together for practice but Bob never showed up.

Despite Bob’s absence, Rolley decided to go ahead and practice. Rolley played the drums and Sally suggested lyrics. Without much suprise to Rolley, the band really ‘sucked’. They were not in sync with each other; Sally thought she was helping but the lyrics she produced did not appeal to Rolley at all.

A few months passed by and Rocky was closing in on his first record. He had done his research and learnt from the best. His networks, affiliations and referrals helped him find people, (recommended by Rock stars), who may have been new to the industry but loved what they did with incredible passion and were known by many for their talents.

Rolley, although persistent, made very slow progress; his dream gradually became a burden. He encountered many obstacles because he didn’t understand how to seek wise counsel. Many of those whom he did speak to would tell him: ‘Stop dreaming, you can’t do it that way, that’s impossible’. And despite his amazing talents, he began to listen to them. Eventually he gave up on his dream.

The secret to Rocky’s success was that he used his networks to find the best people in the industry and then he sought advice from them. He was prepared, but was willing to change his plans according to their sound advice (staying on course with his mission and vision) so that he would be someone that other successful people in the industry would be glad to work with.

After he’d re-established his plans and taking action according to their advice, he kept in contact with the successful people whom he had interviewed and he gained a couple of mentors. They helped him grow in the industry and referred him to the right people (that’s how you get yourself in the ‘right place, at the right time’.)

Rocky’s band was formed; and with incredible synergy, their record was not only produced, but it also fuelled a significant milestone in Rocky’s dream of being a Rock star.

Success comes in CAN’s

Once upon a time, there was a young merchant who desired to sell his Turkish delight in the marketplace. On the first morning of his business endeavour, he told himself “I must sell 20 kilos of Turkish delight today”. But he only sold 2 kilos. Somewhat disappointed, he thought to him-self, “perhaps I need to smile more to attract more customers”.

 

The following day, as he waited for customers he kept thinking “I must smile; I must smile; I must smile”. That day he sold 3 kilos. Now of course, he was disappointed but “it must be working” he thought, and pondered what he should do to make more sales.

 

On the third day he eagerly returned to the marketplace with a list of things he thought he ought to do and think; but by the end of the day, he was mentally drained, and unhappy. To top off his misery, he only sold 1 kilo of Turkish delight. That evening, he returned home discouraged, “I must be doing something wrong” he thought, “what must I do to be successful?”

 

Being the persistent and eager lad that he was, he continued to go to the marketplace every-day, but each day grew gradually worse, some days he sold nothing at all.

 

Then one day a little girl approached him “why are you sad Mister?”

“I’m not sad” lied the young merchant.

“Then why do you look sad?” she inquired.

He looked at his watch, dropped his shoulders and let out an emotional sigh; “it’s been 5 hours, and I haven’t sold anything”.

“Ooh, ooh, can I try” asked the girl excitedly.

“Ah, I guess… ok, why not” he replied, seeing he had nothing to lose.

 

The little girl was a bundle of joy and few could resist her charm, almost immediately, customers drew near to buy from her. “Fancy that” they thought, admiring the enthusiasm of the little girl, “isn’t she cute; a fine young entrepreneur”.

So the young merchant hired the little girl (with the permission of her parents) and his business prospered. They sold many more than 20 kilos on many an occasion. But as the months went by, sales began to decline once again.

 

Eventually the little girl’s enthusiasm began to dwindle. “You must sell more” ordered the young merchant, kindly. “You must smile, you must be friendly, you must plan your day; you must, you must…….”

The little girl tried as hard as she could, (repeating his words over and over in her head), but as sales plummeted, the young merchant’s kindness turned to anger.

“You’re fired” he exclaimed.

 

The little girl returned home devastated, and told her parents what had happened. Her grand-dad (who happened to be there also) overheard.

“No matter” he smiled assuredly, “let me talk to the young man; perhaps I can persuade him to give you another go”.

The little girl agreed.

 

The following morning, the little girl’s grand-dad approached the young merchant. The merchant looked gloomy and sullen.

“Hello young Sir” chimed her grand-dad cheerfully.

“Can I help you?” asked the merchant sarcastically.

“Oh, I hope so” the grand-dad replied.

“What would you like?” asked the merchant, reaching for the smallest packet of Turkish delight in routine assumption.

“I’d like to help you” replied the grand-dad gleaming.

“Are you good at selling?” the merchant retorted.

“You bet I am” the grand-dad replied.

 

That afternoon, the grand-dad sold more Turkish delight than the merchant had ever sold in any other day. Although the merchant was very happy that day, he was also very sad.

“Why is it that you sell so well and I don’t.” he asked the grand-dad.

“That’s simple” the grand-dad replied, eyeing the merchant up and down “you look miserable”.

“I know” sighed the merchant, fiddling nervously. “and each day I tell myself that I must not be miserable, but no matter how hard I try, I feel more and more miserable each day, I just can’t seem to sell anything.”

“I see” smiled the grand-dad intriguingly, “and what else do you tell yourself?”

“Well, lots of things” he recounted “I’m very organized, I constantly remind myself of everything I should do each day”.

“And how do you feel, after you tell yourself all these things?” the grand-dad asked warmly.

“Well, I must admit, I do feel a bit stressed!”

“A bit?” joked the grand-dad. An understanding grin emerged, and his eyes sparkled.

“Ok, a lot” agreed the merchant, feeling more at ease.

“Do you want to know a secret” whispered the grand-dad, just loud enough for the merchant to hear.

“Will it make me a better salesman?” asked the merchant.

“It can” the grand-dad replied, “however, it’s going cost you a small favour”.

“What kind of favour” the merchant remarked with intrigue.

“If you apply this secret well and sell more than twice your usual weekly average over the next week, then I’d like you to re-employ my grand-daughter”.

“That’s a deal!” the merchant exclaimed; suddenly realising that this was the grand-dad of his ex-employee “tell me, what is the secret?”

“Join my family and I for dinner tonight; I want to give you something.” The grand-dad implored sincerely.

 

That night the merchant had dinner with the grand-dad and his’ family (including the little girl). There was much laughter and merrymaking, but the merchant was still very much intrigued as to what this secret could be. Finally, after dessert, the grand-dad presented the merchant with a “can” of preserved fruit.

“The secret is now in your hands,” grinned the grand-dad knowingly, before turning away for another helping of dessert. The young merchant did not understand the riddle, so pressed the grand-dad to tell him the meaning later that evening.

“What does this mean” inquired the merchant curiously.

The grand-dad explained. “The ‘can’ of preserved fruits is an important tool that applies to your thinking. Every day you set goals for yourself, look at that can; it will remind you that you can succeed; not ‘must’ or can’t; not should, but can.”

 

From that day onward, the merchant took the can with him everywhere and kept it in plain sight, so that he would always remember the valuable lesson he had learnt. He repeated his affirmations daily (as usual) but replaced all the demanding words (like must, should and can’t) with can. From there-on, he felt the warmth of peace in his heart. The little girl was rehired as agreed, they began to smile and laugh (naturally) and best of all, they sold Turkish delight like hotcakes.